Today something new happened. I changed my look and in the great reveal when I looked at myself in the mirror I saw me again when I was 5 and carefree. The photographer came over to take family pictures. I’m gaily dressed in a brown skirt, white shirt its a 3 piece outfit. My hair had been made after much struggle a braid with curls at the tip.
As little as I was I knew I felt like a princess not because my mum says my smile from my incomplete teeth lights up the room but because I knew I was looking very fine and I felt very fine inside too. A consciousness of beauty one that wasn’t obligated to look like anyone or attain anything or compare to anyone.
It was the kind of beauty that made me feel comfortable in my own skin no pressures at all no standards of beauty, no lip glosses or carved eyebrows. It was a beauty of a smile and a cheerful childlike aura. So I sat on the stool and stroke a pose in front of the camera man for the perfect selfie. ‘Say Cheese’ ‘Cheese’ with a broad smile.
As compliments of ‘Aunty your hair fine’ fill the salon I’m fixated on the mirror seeing my 5 year old reflection. That girl didn’t worry about anything, she didn’t care if her tummy was getting big or adding weight. Neither did she feel she needed to compete. All she ever did was learn, dance, wear a charming smile and gave a hug to whoever needed it. A lot about her has changed, she more cautious, calculative, over analytical for her own good sometimes with her ambitions but the basic hadn’t changed a heart that reaches out to humanity in little ways with a smile wide enough to melt the toughest heart. That girl is a beauty and keeps evolving!.
With that I smiled back at my stylist, if I could I would have hugged her because beyond a hairdo she took me back to remember who I was and where I was coming from.
A lot of times we are so focused on what we haven’t achieved or beating ourselves for not meeting up to expectations that we forget our journey. Where we started from, how we have grown, the little success we obtained, and the mistakes we made that made us wiser.
Its imperative that as we focus on our big pictures we shouldn’t forget how we began and how much we have grown. I remember opening a folder on my laptop to look at all the write-up I had penned down. The times when I couldn’t write more than 500 words to publishing self-help book in 2011. I observed how I had evolved since then and even when I’m less motivated to write. I just flip through my archives and say to myself “You Can Do This”.
Life is an evolution, we are all on a path discovering who we are time and time again.
The next time you are not motivated, disappointed in yourself or pushing yourself so hard go back to the books, check the records appreciate how far you have come.
Most importantly keep evolving!
I’m @zedtells on twitter